Welcome to a very special edition of this blog (I know I say that a lot, but this one is more specialer, I promise).
Today is my “rebirthday”; it was on this day in that foul year of our Lord, 2009, that I underwent brain surgery. According to my calculator, that makes me four years old.
To commemorate this day I thought I’d list four positives I’ve experienced in the last four years -
1. Parking: I’ve a handicapped placard – I’ve found that the real advantage to having this blue piece of plastic is not so much parking closer, but narrowing the selection of parking places.
You see, most of you chumps have to drive around the whole parking lot to find a space; I need only check the front few spots.
Moreover, you’re more likely to get stuck behind that assclown that plugs up a row to wait for a spot (if you’re one of these people, I hate you).
Occasionally, someone will swoop in and take a spot before me. I find myself sizing this person up – Are they really handicapped? I think he/she’s just using his/her grandma’s placard.
I’m starting to sound hateful, let’s move on…
2. Helpful people: I often get asked if I need help with this or that. Writing about this makes me want to redact my previous comment about “you chumps”. But I don’t want to change it, so just erase it from your mind like so much Men in Black flashing phallus thingy.
Speaking of Men in Black, a fella that looked just like Will Smith came to help me fight off some aliens that were trying to steal my cheese grater.
I jest. He actually looked more like Puff Daddy (or P. Diddy, whatever he goes by these days).
Back to the point, seeing a person hold up a row in a parking lot gets me thinking that people are self-centered, then a nice young lady asks if I need help carrying a large box to my car and shatters that perception.
3. New friends: I’ve met some pretty awesome people that I wouldn’t otherwise know. I’ve been lucky to have very lucky to work with very knowledgeable, caring therapists – I feel so honored to have met these people, I’ll attempt to name them all -
Emily x2 (OT, PY)
Jennifer x3 (OT, OT, speech therapist)
Leslie x2 (PT, speech therapist)
Leslynn (speech therapist)
That red headed (OT) whose name I forgot
That blonde (speech therapist) whose name I forgot
Kenya (speech therapist)
I can’t think of anymore. If I forgot someone, I’m truly sorry. Wait, I’d also like to mention Sandy, my driver from my days at Pate. A very heartfelt and genuine thank you to you all!
4. Continuous possibility for improvement: The medical community says the optimum window for recovery from a brain injury is 18 months or so.
That same community also endorsed the use of leeches to suck out sickness, I can and will continue to improve.
I don’t make improvements as quickly and dramatically (dramatiquickly?) as I once did, but I’m certain that one day I’ll be able to do many of the things I once did (if not, at least I’ll look good as I fail ).
So, not only is the being alive a nice part of waking up, but I also get to face each day with the possibility that I will finally (insert activity) again.
There you have it, folks! Having a TBI is no bueno, but there are some perks.
- Brain Injury
- Brain surgery
- Cavernous hemangioma
- Conditions and Diseases
- Men in Black
- Occupational therapy
- P. Diddy
- Physical therapy
- Puff Daddy
- speech therapy
- Speech-language pathology
- Trauma and Injuries
- United States
- Will Smith
- Zale Lipshy